I'm a whore!

Caught your attention, huh?

The series we're in at Crossroads (where I go to church) right now is "Knockoff". It's all about recognizing when you have the real thing or a cheap imitation. Of course none of you ladies would be caught dead with an "knockoff" Louis Vuitton or Gucci purse! I on the other hand, shamelessly, have bought knockoff sunglasses, watches, wallet, etc. I like the look of them and I suppose the "status" they portray but I don't want the commitment of dropping a LOT of money to have them. Behind that money is a lot of hours of work and, in my case serving in Jamaica, literally blood, sweat and tears. So I recognize that the "real thing" is not worth the effort behind it.

What about our relationships. . . and our relationship with God? In the Bible God told the prophet, Hosea, (hey, they named the book after him!) to take a wife "of whoredom"; a prostitute! What? Why?

Hosea 1:2 "When Jehovah spake at the first by Hosea, Jehovah said unto Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredom and children of whoredom; for the land doth commit great whoredom, departing from Jehovah."

God wanted His prophet, Hosea, to represent what God had been putting up with. God's people had turned from Him and started worshiping Baal. They had taken the cheap, easy route instead of putting forth the effort and trust in God. They had essentially been cheating on God, giving themselves to a cheap imitation, a knockoff, of the true God. (of course there is this whole back story of what it means to "worship" Baal by having sex with temple prostitutes) God wanted Hosea to know what it meant to love someone who was unfaithful as God's people had been unfaithful to Him.

In line with my last post, and how God is speaking to me, I have come to realize that I am putting my trust and hope and worship in something other than God. I am worshiping knockoffs! I am essentially "whoring" myself out! I don't want to put the effort into the real thing! It's a lot of effort! It's hard! But He wants me to give Him my all! He wants me to realize that the real thing is so much better than the cheaper, knockoff version. As I continue this journey I am starting to recognize when I am  putting my worship elsewhere. I think it's the first step of eliminating the focus on these other things and putting my trust in God. I want to have a REAL, authentic relationship with my God, not a knockoff!

Are you a whore? What "knockoffs" do you have in your life?

A Year in the Life of. . .

The past year in my life has been an amazing journey! I've been full-time with Praying Pelican Missions now for just about a year and it has literally changed my life in so many ways!

One of the BIG things that has changed is my spending habits! When I first took this position I took a huge pay cut! I've shared that working in one of the top restaurants in Cincinnati afforded me a lot of luxuries that I took for granted. . . I could eat out every meal, go out for coffee every morning, have steak when I wanted to cook out, etc. Part of what God was doing through this "pay cut" was teaching me to live more humbly. I think I've expressed this in the past, but a friend of mine ("The Intern" as I affectionately call her) posted this about her first experience in missions and in Jamaica specifically this past summer:

"One of the first things that anyone would notice if they stepped off a resort in Jamaica is that poverty pervades the country. There is trash along the sides of the roads, houses are half built, animals wander the streets, and there is a general lack of property stewardship. However, if you took the time to speak to a local or play with the kids at the community center you would find that a lack of “nice things” does not equate to a lack of joy. In Jesus’ most well known sermon he talks about putting treasure in heaven where nothing can destroy it instead of on earth where it can be taken away. After all “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Sometimes the tendency of missions and ministry is to fill crates full of “stuff” to give away to people who are “less fortunate.” But if we were really to evaluate the benefit of “stuff” and the label of “less fortunate” would we come to a different conclusion? After all isn’t it the “stuff” in our lives that distracts us from the real joy that is found in relationship with Christ alone? Then how is it that the piles of trinkets, toys, and technology that saturate our lives are the things that somehow make us better off than people who don’t have those things. It seems to me that living without an excess of “things” offers freedom from treasuring stuff that won’t last in favor of faith, hope, and love. Moreover, it makes our gospel so much sweeter when our lives reflect our singular need for Christ alone. How much greater is the testimony of one who offers nothing to be remembered but Christ?" - Stephanie Morse

I've been serving in Jamaica for 20 years now and sometimes the simplest stuff slips by me as I search to gain that little insight about what makes Jamaica what it is. I love seeing outsiders' perspectives because it brings me back to the heart of why I fell in love with missions and Jamaica to begin with.

So not only has this past year been teaching me to live more humbly financially, but now I'm trying to live more intentionally in my spiritual life as well. Thank you everyone for your prayers and support during this past year in my life. Look for more updates to come!

Wash out this tired notion that the best is yet to come

As summer has started for me here in Jamaica I'm already seeing God working. Not quite a week has gone by since my arrival here, and only a few days since the first teams arrived. . . but God is already moving. Not that He ever stopped moving, it's just more evident to me now that I'm back in Jamaica.

This spring, and May in particular, has been one of the longest and most difficult in my recent memory. After six weeks here in March and April feeling God's presence and seeing him work in me and in the teams around me, I felt thrust into a storm when I returned that has remained through the rest of the spring to now. God put a very difficult challenge in front of me and it was one that influenced my work, my sleep, my eating and my general attitude towards life. As I struggled to focus on preparing the 13+ teams that I will lead this summer as well as daily activities like getting out of bed, I had no other choice but to submit everything to God. I knew that May was the month that I needed to get nearly every plan in place for these teams this summer and I was having a hard time getting it done.

So as I sit here, my first 3 teams off and rolling, I have found a calm in the storm finally. Although this calm is still a little cloudy and a bit surreal, it is a calm. I have already seen God work through difficult situations and come through in situations where I felt less than fully prepared. One team arrived a day late due to an anonymous airline (American) and arrived with great attitudes and servant hearts. Lost luggage that could easily ruin a day or a week, or in this case, two weeks, is written off and there is no concern at all.

On top of my pity party, I see friends and families who are going through REAL problems that make mine seem like nothing and I see them praising God through the storms. I am humbled!

All this to say that I know God at work in this world and I know He is working already in me, and prayerfully THROUGH me as well, and I know that this summer will be a great time of healing and restoration as this storm passes and the fog slowly lifts. In the words of Dave (Matthews of course), I wait as these storms wash away the notion that the best is yet to come. And of course who can forget the simple reminder that "THIS is the day the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it". Pray for a great summer and that God will be glorified through all that we do.

Adventurously Expectant

We just sent off yet another amazing team yesterday! We had a returning team of 116 serving with several communities/schools/churches in the Trelawny, Jamaica area. I had the pleasure of serving with a small group of 15 which I called my own. :) We spent a few mornings with grade 5s of Hastings Primary school assisting in reading and math and our afternoons were filled with construction. We are working on an additional building for the primary school which is overcrowded. This group started this project exactly one year ago and this spring we poured the concrete for half of the roof. The other half and the floor should be finished by this summer giving the school an additional two classrooms next year! Overall it was an awesome week getting to know my little group, seeing old friends from last year, and worshiping and serving with the team as a whole!

The group's theme for their spring break mission trips this year was "Adventurously Expectant". Basically this means living an adventurous life for God and expecting Him to come through in big ways! As I thought about this theme and enjoyed the cool evenings, I would look at the stars and think about a practice of mine. When I was younger I would stand in my backyard in the country and stare at the stars. I remember "asking" God to show me a shooting star. . . not that I needed proof, but more as my test of sorts for God. I don't do it so often now, but I still have my moments where I sort of ask God to give me a sign. I can honestly say that I have never once during one of these tests seen a shooting star. I feel like I have the "expectant" part down, but sometimes not so much the "adventurous" part. I feel like often we ALL do this! We expect God to do something for us or speak to us but we're not willing to actually listen to him when He answers us. We ask for that shooting star or whirlwind to appear but instead God is in that "still, small voice" (1 Kings 19:11-13) and we don't recognize it.

So tonight as our group was debriefing our day (I picked up yet another amazing group of 10 yesterday) I had my back turned to the sky and was talking with the team. All of a sudden I could see a light in the corner of my eye and nearly everyone awed as this ginormous shooting star (or comet or satellite or whatever it was) streaked through the sky in bright green and red and finally disappeared. It was big enough that I had time to turn around and see it for about 2 seconds! What I find interesting is that I don't need a shooting star from God to show me Him. I see Him in front of me always and witness Him working in so many ways on a day-to-day basis! I know that when I live adventurously for Him I can expect great things! Try living your life "adventurously expectant" and see what you find!

God sightings

Finished up my first spring trip yesterday and waiting for the second group to arrive shortly. The first group, from Hobbs, NM, arrived a DAY LATE! Their trip was cut short by US Airways because of mechanical problems in Dallas. So when they finally did arrive, at 8pm the next day, I half expected them to be down and out because of the delay. Instead they were extremely happy and upbeat and wanted to cut their beach day down if needed to do whatever needed to be done. Great attitude to have! And because of that attitude they had an awesome week! (check out their trip here) Met some amazing people and spent the week in one community getting to know the people there! Good times!

I was reminded, yet again, this past week that I'm spoiled! I get to serve on a new mission trip every week! Of course I have to do the leg work of getting their trip set up and details arranged, but even all this is in a tropical paradise. :) I don't have to struggle to find God. . . I get to see Him working in these team members each and every week and every week it's new people and a new trip. It's like life is starting afresh every week!

Pray for us this week as our group is over 100 serving with about 4 different churches and undertaking 6 different construction projects. You can keep up with what they're doing here if you'd like. My 6 weeks in Jamaica is starting to fly by now. Can't wait to see what else happens this spring!

PS - My MOM is coming April 1st! Her first time to Jamaica! That's a big deal!

Aaaah! Spring in Jamaica!

I had a friend recently ask me about my faith and "how do I know". This blog is for her.

I've been thinking about it since she asked me. . . because I didn't have an exact answer for her. She had recently discovered that her life was about to change dramatically. And apparently she was beginning to question her faith, or maybe she's just about to discover it? My uneducated response (after x amount of years at Bible college how can I say uneducated?) to her was, "I just know"! I told her that often it's not simple to see, especially when you're bogged down with the seemingly mundane tasks of day-to-day life. I told her that sometimes it's hard for me to really FEEL my faith. I KNOW it; but often I don't feel it. I told her that when I really FEEL it is when I experience it first hand.

First hand experiences


I've been in Jamaica for just over a week and I have yet to welcome a group of my own. In fact they come in tomorrow and we'll spend a week at the Grateful Hill Baptist Church near Discovery Bay. But for the past week I've been driving all over Jamaica making sure my spring trips are ready to go and getting some more info on some summer trips. And as I've been driving (with no radio) I've had a lot of time to reflect and I've thought a lot about this question, "how do I know?"

I'll tell you what. . . God doesn't yell at me any louder (or whisper to me any softer) than when I'm meeting with pastors who have such a heart and passion for doing His work! Nothing is more subtle than driving down the coast with the windows down and watching the ocean splash. Something as simple as a hummingbird buzzing around while I sit outside in my "office". And nothing breaks my heart and makes me FEEL God's touch more than meeting an elderly gentleman who takes care of his three young granddaughters while they all live in a small, one room shack at best! Those are the things that let me know I'm in the right place!

And out of all this comes my still uneducated response. How do I know? Because I know what God has called me to do and when I do what He has placed on my heart I FEEL Him smiling at me. My answer. . . LISTEN to what God is telling you; EMBRACE those times when you're broken and you have nowhere left to turn but to Him. He wants your attention! Then FOLLOW where he is telling your heart to go. Worst case scenario you go in the wrong direction. . . trust me, you'll feel it. And when you are headed in the right direction. . . you'll KNOW!

A new year and bananas

A week ago I was in Jamaica. . . sunny and mid 80s. Today, I look outside (with the space heater at my feet) seeing a thin white blanket on the ground, watching it flurry and hearing the wind howling. Is this how the new year is supposed to look? Ha!!

God has been good! I got to close out 2011 in Jamaica with an amazing team of 11 from Racine, WI in church in the tiny community of Belmont just outside of Montego Bay. At midnight we stopped our church service to celebrate with each other and then saw about a dozen people want to make 2012 the year that they started following God! I can't explain how much I needed that! Believe it or not, I thrive on leading teams in Jamaica! So since August I've spent much of my time talking to churches and groups about Praying Pelican Missions and what we do, and occasionally I got to talk specifically about Jamaica. And although I love talking about what we do, I love DOING IT! So what a perfect way to get some perspective, close out 2011 and start 2012.

Our team, being only 11, was very close knit and we bonded immediately! A far cry from the teams of 60+ where you struggle to get to know even the key leaders of the group. So our time together was more intimate and I got to share with them as they discovered the love that this little community had to share. Our ministry time was "hampered" by the surprise that was the election of a new Prime Minister. . . and that was just day one. But we soon found that God had much bigger plans than what we had prepared. So as our plans shifted and changed and each time it was just that much better. For example: on our first day (Thursday) we were supposed to gather a large group of children and have a VBS of sorts. Instead, elections caused us to go visit some of the elderly in the community who are members of the church but are no longer able to physically go to church anymore. This turned out to be one of the most unforgettable times of the entire trip. As one example, we met Milicent who is a young 95. She was a founding member of the Belmont Baptist Church and as we talked with her we found out just how much of a beacon she had been to the community and a few individuals in particular. She was so young and still had so much joy at a time in her life when many are "old" and bitter at life and their circumstances. Well, there were countless stories like this! But don't take my word for it. . . read about them here!

Well, the team left Tuesday the 3rd and we all shed a little tear as we were not ready to say goodbye yet. As they flew away I met up with Jon (my wonderful boss. . . hey Jon!) and it was immediately back to work. We spent the next few days meeting with pastors who will be hosting our teams in the spring and setting up plans for these trips. It was great to meet with them and to see their passion for their communities! And it was all made just a bit easier to envision after such a great trip!

Rounding out my two weeks in Jamaica was a time of fellowship and training with a good bit of our Jamaican staff. We had a short day and a half of worship , chatting, goofing off, and getting to know each other a little more. . . OH, and we did some training in there as well. :) It was cool to hear several of them express how much they enjoyed our short weekend together and appreciated our time and the information gathered. We're set up to have a great spring and summer in Jamaica! We finished 2011 with just over 1,000 participants in Jamaica and about 3,300 for the whole organization (including Belize, Haiti, Mexico and our US locations in Miami and Tucson).

Looking at 2012: PPM already has almost 5,000 participant signed up to go on trips with us! That's 5,000 lives that will be changed! If they go home and change just one life because of their trip then we're at 10,000 lives changed. If we're VERY conservative and say that while they are serving on their mission trip they each touch just ONE person then we're at 15,000 lives changed in 2012. And these are VERY conservative numbers! God has been good to us this past year and He has good things in store for this year!

So. . . this is what gets me up in the morning when it's COLD and I don't want to get out of bed! This is why I love my job! This is why 2012 will be the best year yet! Oh, and the bananas? I got some bananas yesterday and they are absolutely flavorless compared to Jamaican bananas. That's it. :)

Drinking my Blue Mountain coffee and loving life! Here's to 2012!