Monday, October 1, 2012

Parenting advice for a single guy!?

As I continue on this journey I'm on I'm learning more about myself and where this self is going. The coolest thing is learning to see God in your everyday life. When I'm in Jamaica it's easy because I'm there for a purpose and that is to seek God and help others seek Him. Of course that's my purpose when I'm home too, but I'm saying it's a lot easier when you can see the ocean and it's 85 degrees and sunny. :)

What I love about Crossroads (my church) is that they don't just give you some helpful advice for your life like some might expect from a mega-church. No! They give you great advice but it ALWAYS ties into Scripture and God. So when we're talking about our interpersonal relationships it always points back to our relationship with God. This weekend we continued on this series on Knock-offs. . . knowing when you have the real thing or a cheap imitation in relationships. The first week was marriage, last week was singleness, and this week was parenting.

What can a single guy with no kids take away from parenting!?

Well, turns out before you can be a parent you have to be a kid first. So while learning about parenting I also got to see the stages from a child's perspective. And not just in an earthly child/parent relationship but also in our child/parent relationship with our Creator!

There were 4 stages: nursing, king/queen, coach, and friend.
Nursing: the parent gives, gives, gives; the child can not give back, they can only take
King/Queen: just think terrible 2s! The parent becomes King over the child because the parent knows best and has the child's best interest in mind.
Coach: you've done the nursing and the King stage. You've taught and done your best, now you stand on the sideline and encourage and advise.
Friend: you see your child not only as your baby but as your friend. You've stopped pulling the King card on them and you may occasionally coach, but your primarily friends.

And this is how we grow and relate with our Creator God! The thing that stuck out to me the most is that sometimes as parents we get stuck in a stage or start being a friend when we should be Kinging! And I realized that in our relationship with our Creator we can get stuck in a phase as a child. We're still in the nursing stage, wanting God to give, give, give but we're not willing to give back. When something goes wrong we want it fixed and we want more. We need to grow up!

One line stuck in my head that relates to me today. Brian (Tome) is imitating a child throwing a tantrum but using adult situations. "I waaaaant that joooooobbb! I waaaant that caaaaaaaar! I want to be married!"

Now I think I'm the only guy in the world who actually wants to be married (snicker) but I feel like that has been my attitude recently. "God! Whyyyyyy can't I just find someone niiiiiiice!? Whyyyyyy?" Ha! Obviously not to that degree, but somewhat. And I've realized that in a way I'm reverting back to the nursing stage as a child instead of realizing and trusting that God has a plan and He ALWAYS has my best interest in mind.

So here's to growing up! Here's to trusting in God's timing like I've done (or claim to do at least) so many times before.

Oh, and Brian encouraged us to have a relationship with our parents/children. To rebuild bridges that have been burnt or are broken. And I realized I haven't talked to my dad in years. Time to make a phone call. . .

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