Spoiled! (part 2 of 3)

And here I sit in Montego Bay, Jamaica feeling like a king! I read/hear about snow storms and biting cold and all I can do is feel sorry for those folks. My version of bad weather is when it rained for 2 days this weekend and since we were up in the hills a bit it got chilly (maybe mid-60s) at night and all I had was a sheet. LUCKILY the rain cleared out and the sun came out in time for our day at the beach. I can sit outside drinking Blue Mountain coffee and watching a hummingbird buzz around in the mornings. I drive past the sea every day and sometimes forget to look. . . FORGET TO LOOK!? I mean, COME ON! Who can say things like that!? Me! That's who!

Somehow, somewhere I did something that got me to this place. . . a place where I can just feel God's presence shining down on me. . . oh! wait! did I really do anything? Is it my doing, my actions that got me here? God surely knows it was NOT my doing! God has made it clear in no quiet fashion that He is in control and I'm just along for the ride! Who gets to say these things!? Me!

I get to serve with some of the most amazing people, and although they're only in my world for a short week usually, they forever impact my life. I mean, just this past week I met a kid who can solve a Rubik's cube in under a minute (that's impressive!), but he can also have 100 kids laughing and chasing after him in the same amount of time. . . a blind girl who has absolutely nothing but has one of the most amazing voices I've ever heard. . . a man who has been bed-ridden for nine years who wants nothing more than to speak truth into the lives of others and bless them through his faith in God. . . a lady who has opened her small home to the destitute children of Jamaica. . . and the list could go on and on. Who has the right to meet these people!? Certainly not me! But I do.

Not only do I get to meet new people nearly every day, but I get to visit old friends. I have a "wife" at the St. James infirmary (even though she wears a Pittsburgh Steelers hat) who will hold my hand the entire time I'm there and just laugh and smile. I have a friend at the St. Ann infirmary who is confined to a wheelchair; mentally and physically disabled but she sure laughs and smiles every time she sees me. There are children in a community close to me that will climb on me and just want to be near me when I'm around. Why do I get to have these people in my life?

I surely don't say these things to brag, but I say these because I still don't believe it and I am so humbled at the life I live. I thank God that he has given me this opportunity and put Jamaica on my heart. I get up early, sometimes have to work late, sometimes have to make emergency trips to the airport in the middle of the night (which I would do a million times over again, Dan!). And I LOVE it! I am surely spoiled rotten! I can't say I don't like it though. :)

Confirmed (Part 1 of 3)

Sunday, December 30, 2012 - Hopewell Baptist Church, Hopewell, Hanover, Jamaica. I have two teams totaling 9 people and we're wrapping up a week of building a chicken coop. Although the coop is significant in this story, it's not the main point. It benefits this family by giving them food, an income and stability. However there is something more going on here.

Rewind to December 5(ish), 2012 - I have just proposed to Praying Pelican Missions that I would like to spend a good amount of time in Jamaica this year. I proposed that when I came here to Jamaica in December that I would stay through August and spend time reinforcing our partnerships with churches and ministries here as well as assisting in the day-to-day operations of setting up and leading trips. It was just a proposal. . . they liked it and ran with it. I was nervous, unsure, questioning my thoughts that I had put into words. I had just spent the past 6 months fighting against spending so much time in Jamaica! A girl broke up with me over 6 months ago because I was gone too much. . . I wasn't over it. . . I loved her. I wanted to find a way to settle down and find a nice girl and. . . the American dream. What was I thinking!?

Back to the future - Dec. 30 - I'm sitting in church listening to Pastor Oniel Brown preach a Christmas sermon. He's fired up as most Jamaican pastors are when they're preaching. He's talking about Mary's role in the Christmas story. Protestants don't talk much about Mary unlike the Catholics. We don't have anything against her, we just don't focus on her so much. 

Mary, however, has an interesting perspective in the Christmas story. Pastor Brown talked about how much Mary had to lose. A young woman, maybe 15 or so, engaged to be married, a virgin. . . pregnant. Unlike today, this was not a common story. She had absolutely everything to lose! Legally she could have been put to death. Joseph could have divorced her and had her killed for being pregnant. Virgins, after all, don't get pregnant. In Luke, the angel tells Mary that her life is about to be turned upside down. Mary's answer is simply, "I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled." What!? Really!? That's it? No arguing? No questioning? Just, "yeah, sure, ok"? Wow. . . that's faith!

When Pastor Brown was talking about Mary and how she trusted even though she had EVERYTHING to lose, I felt like he was speaking to me. I was nervous about my decision, but what did I really have to lose? In my mind I was losing the opportunity to find "that special person" and settle down. But God was telling me to trust him and He'd take care of it. God was using Pastor Brown to tell me that it was all going to be OK. 

And. . . 

You Might Die Trying

Merry Christmas to everyone! My family had our Christmas this past weekend and it was great to have family around and laugh at each other and celebrate. We had to celebrate early as I have a journey to make today. The great thing is that our family doesn't have any deeply herald traditions. With family being spread all over the world we are just grateful to get (mostly) everyone together at ANY time.

So, I sit here in the Jamaica feeling so very blessed to be able to go to Jamaica today! I realize I often take for granted the fact that I get to spend a couple weeks out of the winter in a tropical paradise. I also am blessed to LOVE what I do and I get paid to do it! I realize that not everyone has that as their lot in life. And most of all I am blessed to be doing all this to serve God and to love His created people...they just happen to live where it's warm. ;)

I've also realized over the past month or so that I've been holding back. I feel like I'm missing out on my full potential and everything that God wants for me.

One of my favorite Dave Matthews songs is called...you guessed it, "You Might Die Trying". Metaphorically speaking, (duh, that's what songs do!) a verse says: 

If you close your eyes
Because the house is on fire
You think you couldn't move
Not until the fire dies
The things you never did
Cause you might die trying

Well...my metaphorical house has been on fire for some time now. I can't really say how long or even what it is that's been burning, but I've suddenly started feeling the heat and smelling the smoke. I've been afraid to move forward in life; held back by something, waiting for it to be fulfilled before I can move on. I really have been feeling like it's time to move forward, trusting that it is God's will and the right direction for my life.

So starting in early February I will basically move to Jamaica for about 6 months. I don't know what God has in store for my life during this time but I have a feeling it's something huge! During this time I will get to work very closely with our Jamaican church partners and really get to know the communities and pastors better. I'll be able to solidify the already established relationships with our pastors, staff, orphanages, infirmaries and various other ministries. I'll be able to identify the deeper needs that are hard to identify via email and phone calls. Overall this time will only strengthen the ministry that Praying Pelican has already established.

Follow this link as I serve with 9 others in Hopewell, Hanover, Jamaica this week. Our primary goal is to build and stock a chicken coop for 200 chickens. This will provide an individual and/or the community income, food, and stability for many years.

So during the next two weeks while I'm in Jamaica and during the next month as I prepare to go, please pray for strength, wisdom and clarity. Pray that I'll be able to use this experience to live life more fully and not live with fear of what the future holds. The only sure thing is that I'm not going to die in this burning house. I'm going to take the risk of living.

"You'd be as good as dead, cause you might die trying"

Daddy Issues

This past month has been crazy! I've been to Atlanta, Dallas, Minneapolis, Louisville and Chicago as well as back home to Bloomington, IL. But it's been an awesome month and although much of the travel was for work, it was to be with people and to talk about what I love. So very much worth it!

With all that travel and about 3 straight weeks of not "working" (sitting here at my desk working), it's time to play catch up (or ketchup or catsup if you prefer). So on this cold Monday it's time to tell the world what's been going on!

I would have to say one of the most impacting times over the past month was my time in Dallas. I went there for a convention but scheduled in some time to see my dad whom I hadn't seen in about 5 years. If you remember my post from October 1, "Parenting Advice for a Single Guy!?", I had realized that a relationship with my dad is healthy and something that I needed to pursue.

So looking back on that post I am realizing that of the 4 stages (nursing, king/queen, coach, and friend) I hadn't ever really experienced ANY of these with my dad. Funny thing. . . I found myself acting like a kid around him at first. It was the weirdest thing! I would want to jump on him, hit him, and just play around. And immediately I recognized it and had to stop myself. That's what we always did when we would see each other over the years and so that was my first inclination. So basically I had to skip all the steps (partially consciously) and go straight to the "friend" stage. 

And you know what?? It was GREAT! I had never really spent a good amount of time with my dad as an adult. I ended up staying with him about 3 days and it was one of the best things I could have done for myself. 

I can think back over the years and I have said OUT LOUD that I didn't want to be like my dad. He's made some poor choices in life (haven't we all!?), but the funny thing is that I never really knew what it was/wasn't that I didn't want to be like. All I knew was that his absence in my life had created this inner turmoil that I still can't explain. This turmoil still exists, but I at least feel like I have a better understanding of it. Turns out we are very much alike. We think the same way about the very basics of life. About treating people with respect. About helping others. Granted, we are very different in many ways also, but I realized that I was OK with turning out to be like him. I'll learn from his mistakes and make a few different choices, but overall he's not the "bad guy" I always thought he was. 

I don't know how to explain it but I left Dallas with a little touch of pride and a little more self-esteem and a little more confidence. I guess those are things you get from your dad? 

I also got to spend some time with my younger brother, Evan! What a great kid! (kid? he's 26!) He's dealt with way too much for someone his age and he's a trooper! I haven't had much of a relationship with him either in the past. That's something I want to change too!

Keep in touch for some breaking news coming soon. . . 

Tolerant, relative, spiritual but not religious

What a great weekend in Hotlanta! Of course with the exception of a couple delayed flights and not enough sleep (getting up at 4am yesterday to fly home). I really felt what I've been learning/reading over the past month or so kicking in. Airports bring out the worst in everybody and when you start missing or delaying flights it gets even that much more interesting. It's also fun to people watch at airports. So many different kinds of people from so many different places all stuffed together and in a hurry. Makes for some good entertainment. And now trying to see those things through this kind of "new lens" of not classifying people based off of snap judgments. Putting this new philosophy into practice on a very practical level. Traveling is fun!

I was in Atlanta this weekend for the Youth Cartel's Summit. This is an event for church youth leaders and volunteers to come hear other leaders talk about trends in youth ministry through TED style talks. This is the same organization that hosted the Open in Seattle about a month ago when I met Jimmy Spencer Jr. and started reading his book, Love Without Agenda. So just amazing stuff! The Youth Cartel's self definition is, "we are passionate about Instigating a Revolution in Youth Ministry". So since I work in youth ministry (of sorts. . . I work with a lot of youth in this ministry) I really enjoy getting to go to these events and not only talk about what I love (missions and Jamaica) but I get to also learn and grow!

One of the many speakers that impacted me this weekend is a gentleman named Brock Morgan. He actually brings his youth to Jamaica with us and is coming back in December with his group. I've never worked with his group but it was great to meet him and hear what he had to say. He does youth ministry in the northeast in Greenwich, CT and sees trends that a lot of us in the mid-west don't see. . . yet.

Christendom is dead

The basis of Brock's talk was that Christendom is dead and we (Christians) are living as exiles. I think for most Christians this would come as a shock and almost an insult! It's hard for me to define it but for me Christendom in this context means Christianity's authority in the world. So to say that Christendom is dead means that Christianity no longer has an authority over non-believers like it once did. Christians can no longer answer a question with, "because Jesus said so" or "the Bible says so" and it have any authority. Those answers used to be relevant. . . now if I would use that answer I would be laughed at (often). So we, Christians, are living as exiles in this world. If we hold on to the "good ol' days" we are no longer relevant to the world. So what does that mean for Christians who don't want to be irrelevant? What will make us relevant to a world that needs Jesus?

We need to embrace tolerance

"Tolerance" in the Christian world is just as much a dirty word as "Christian" is in the rest of the world. The rest of the world has embraced tolerance. Everyone is accepted (except for Christians. . . cause we're not tolerant). Christians need to start being INclusive and stop being EXclusive. Tolerance doesn't write anyone off and neither did Jesus.

We need to embrace Christian relativism

Relative. . . another dirty word. I personally cringe when I hear the word. My friend likes to say, "perception in reality". That's relativism at its finest to me. I like to argue with him. :) I feel like too often there are so many things we tack to the message of the cross as if Jesus isn't good enough. To be a Christian is it following Jesus + how you dress + which baptism is RIGHT + how you vote + XYZ? The discussion this weekend was Jesus + a belief in a literal hell. There are so many different views/beliefs on what hell is/isn't. You don't have to think just like me (or everything I've added to the message of the cross) to believe in and love Jesus. There are salvation issues and non-salvation issues. Let's strip away the non-salvation issues and get back to Jesus! If you don't like the sound of "Christian relativism" (like me), try "Generous Orthodoxy". Let's focus back on Jesus' life and message and be generous with each other! And then you can have an open (and generous) discussion about what hell is/isn't, baptism, voting, etc.

Spiritual but not Religious

The phrase used to make my blood boil! I saw it as a cop out. . . a non-commitment to anything and an open license to believe anything. Cut, copy, paste. After this weekend I realize that I may classify myself as "spiritual but not religious" now. GAAASP!? I realize that the word religion carries so much stigma! Back to the death of Christendom - people don't want to associate themselves with Christianity because of all the stupid stuff people do in the name of Christ and Christianity. Christianity has often, in my mind, become an agenda and not a following of Christ. More about converting people and proving WE are right and less about loving God and His created people. Jesus didn't come to create another religion. He came to upend what people thought about religion! Many of my "Christian" friends, often myself included, when asked (or proclaimed on Facebook) will say things like "Christ follower", "lover of Christ", "Jesus", "Follower of Christ". We often don't want to attach the stigma of what "Christian" means to ourselves. So when people are searching and still trying to figure out what this whole Jesus thing is they may want to say, "I'm spiritual but not religious". We need to embrace what they DO believe and encourage them to continue digging deeper. They may not be ready to connect themselves to Christianity as they discover Christ.

Embrace Mission

Stop talking about it and do it! Plain and simple. People want to associate with people who have passion. Have a passion in your life and follow through with it! A friend of mine started a missions organization called GOYA. GOYA is an acronym for Get Off Your . . . Do it! I love my job because not only do I get to talk to people about missions and Jamaica, but I get to go do it myself! I get to be a part of this awesome adventure that is so much bigger than me!

Love Jesus? Prove it! Be tolerant, be generous, accept that people are "spiritual but not religious" and that's ok, and then stop talking about it and GOYA and do it!

Cavemen and Muscle Memory

Over the past week I've caught myself trying to live out this whole "Love Without Agenda" thing. This past week I was troubled with myself when I did something that was "nice" but had an agenda behind it that benefited me. It ended up making me mad at myself instead. Long story but it's a weird feeling to catch yourself and try to break old habits. . . especially when you didn't know they were habits in the first place.

A key phrase that stuck out to me when I was reading a few weeks ago was "muscle memory". I had it bookmarked but wasn't real sure how to use it. But it stood out to me and has been stuck in the back of my mind since then. Everyone has developed muscle memory. It's the old "practice makes perfect" mantra that we each play out in our everyday lives. (funny thought, if you practice something poorly it makes mediocre) From typing to driving to playing an instrument to brushing your teeth, we use it all the time. Has anyone ever caught themselves doing their routine in the wrong order? I've noticed a couple times in the past when I've had a fever or I had to get up at an ungodly hour (like 7!). I do things out of order, like wash my face before washing my hair in the shower or taking the road that goes to work when it's my day off. (of course I work from home now, so that can be awkward) Muscle memory keeps you doing the same things in the same order, day in and day out. When you somehow do something out of order you notice it.

Everyone loves Captain Caveman!

Cavemen. . . that's where we came from apparently. I've heard somewhere that (unfortunately Google can't seem to back me up on this, but) we developed our ability to judge situations from cavemen. A caveman would have to make a snap judgment when he heard a rustle in the bush next to him or saw a shadow. Is it an animal trying to kill me or just the wind/light playing tricks on me? We developed this fight-or-flight instinct to keep us alive. We had to judge situations for our survival. . . makes sense.

As we moved out of rock caves and moved into concrete caves in highrise buildings, our survival instinct stayed intact. But now instead of protecting ourselves from animals we're protecting ourselves from each other. Our survival instinct has stopped keeping us alive and started protecting our jobs, our stuff, our way of life, our pride, our thinking. . . our religion.

So now instead of making judgments about shadows or rustling bushes we make judgments about people. Gay, black, white, Republican, Democrat, Arab, Christian, Muslim, poor, rich, divorced, single-mother, drunk -- just the words themselves put us into fight or flight mode! Have we trained ourselves to fight against "those people"? Is that guy with his boyfriend standing in front of you at Starbucks ordering a pumpkin-spice latte threatening you? Is that 17 year old girl pushing her stroller on the "wrong side of town" a threat? My guess is no. What about the guy at the polling station wearing his Obama or Romney hat proudly? That's a tough one, huh? Are they threatening your politics, your thinking, your pride. . . it's possible. Are your judgments towards them, either outwardly or inwardly, going to protect those things? Definitely not. Would a smile or a hello from you make their day and maybe change the way they think about "your kind"? Doesn't hurt to try! You see, they have muscle memory too. . . they make judgments about YOU. Maybe it's based on their past and maybe it's unwarranted, but YOU can start to change that.

My challenge to myself (that I'm obviously extending to you) is to start breaking down my muscle memory when it comes to seeing people. To stop those knee-jerk reactions to people. Earlier I linked to an article that says if you practice something poorly it makes mediocre.We have muscle memories that are making us mediocre! It's amazing what you can see and who you can impact when you stop practicing poorly. Let's step up our game!

Matthew 25:

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'"

Political Agenda

This past week I have been preparing for beach season. I know for most the spring is the time to get in shape and get ready to hit the beach, but I'll be heading back to Jamaica in just under 2 months. Christmas day I'll head down and prepare to lead a small group for a week in Hopewell, just west of Montego Bay. So I've ordered new sandals (seems I blow through them pretty quickly) and I had to get a new pair of boardshorts since I've lost some weight working out over the past couple months. So I’m READY!

I really love going back to Jamaica during the winter for the obvious reasons and also because it gives me a chance to be refreshed and reminded of what it is I’m doing. Not that I ever forget, but just sitting on the phone TALKING about doing mission work is completely different than getting up and DOING it. I also start to miss the preaching in Jamaica. I love my church here and when I come home I get joy out of going to church and being challenged. I also love hearing Jamaican preachers as it is a completely different style and it’s very powerful!

As I was reading “Love Without Agenda” this week I was reminded of the preaching in Jamaica and big part of what I love about it. Jimmy is talking about the last week of Jesus’ life leading up to the cross. He’s talking about how Jesus’ lack of agenda got him killed. The Jews were looking for a Messiah. . . a savior. But they weren't looking for a spiritual savior. They were looking for someone who would overthrow the Roman government and rule over them as king like they once had. So the Jews thought Jesus was going to be a political savior, not a religious savior. How can Jesus HELP ME? What can He GIVE ME? What is He going to DO FOR ME? They had a political agenda for Jesus. Jesus didn't have an agenda. He wanted to show them love and how to love, they wanted him to rescue them from their political and social situation. Once the people found out that Jesus wasn't going to overthrow Rome and restore a king for them they were finished with Jesus.

We're done with Him. . .“Crucify Him!”

Fast forward to modern day:

Now the comparison between Jamaica and first century Israel is that both are oral cultures. That means that literacy is not high. In first century Israel the literacy rate was believed to be about 3%. Jamaica’s literacy rate is about 88%. Not really a comparison but I'm sure the rate for older generations is much lower and the culture is one that people talk to each other more and listen to the radio. much more than they read. One thing I like about Jamaican preaching is that it’s interactive. In particular, I've noticed that a preacher will start a verse with a few words and the people will speak out the rest of the verse with him. And it always amazed me that they knew so many verses and that they could do that. We don't do that (at least not in my church) here in America. They've learned by hearing these verses over and over again while growing up. The same was true for first century Jews. They knew the scriptures backwards and forwards from hearing them so many times.

Now back to the cross:

It looks to everyone like this whole Jesus thing was over. He hung on the cross and prepared to die. At the last moment, “Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, ‘Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?’ that is, ‘My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?’ (Matthew 27:46) As I’ve read this so many times and know this story, it never occurred to me what was happening when Jesus said this. I thought it was just His last cry to God.

No! Jesus was quoting scripture to the people that were there! “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” is the first line of Psalm 22. Written some 1,000 years earlier, Psalm 22 it reads like it was written while Jesus hung on the cross. Read through it and you'll be amazed! When David wrote this Psalm he was pointing to the cross. All the Jews would have heard this first line, ““My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”, and just like Jamaicans finishing the verses in church, immediately their minds would have gone to Psalm 22 and they would recite that verse in their head.

The last line of Psalm 22 reads:

     They will proclaim his righteousness,

     declaring to a people yet unborn:

     He has done it!

Jesus had proclaimed victory! Not over Rome as the people had expected, but over sin and death. Victory over all the agendas placed on him. And because of that WE too can proclaim victory!